Baby Boomers Aging Gracefully-Senior Citizen Discounts

Baby Boomers Aging Gracefully-Senior Citizen Discounts

“$5.37.” That’s what the kid behind the counter at my local Taco Bell,
said to me as I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint balls and two
dimes and something that used to be a watermelon Jolly Rancher.

Having already handed the kid a crumpled five spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid, with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. “It’s OK. I’ll just give you the senior citizen discount.”

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. “Only $4.68″ he stated cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I just turned 58 on the fith of Febuary…I am not even 60 yet…a mere child! But a Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to my car wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in my car, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I’ll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

“Ma’am! Can’t get too far without your car keys, Huh?” I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. “Leaving keys behind hardly makes a person elderly. It could happen to anyone.”

I turned and headed back to my car. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn’t turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That’s when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror…

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish, Night Galary scene, in my life, over with. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach…hunger. My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the car around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant, hopefully for the last time.

There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, “What is the world coming to?” But all I could say was, “Did I leave my food and drink in here?” At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my car, and then go straight home and apply for my Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the car, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, “I think you left this in my car by mistake.” I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

He offered these kind words: “It’s OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time.”

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 MPH in a 40 MPH zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius…and no, I did not tell the officer that I’m not too old to be driving that fast.

As I walked in the front door, my husband met me halfway down the hall. I handed him a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankie.

The good news…I had successfully found my way home.

We hope that you enjoyed “Baby Boomers Aging Gracefully-Senior Citizen Discounts.” There are more humorous Baby Boomer Jokes in BBAC’s Joke Section.

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