Baby Boomer Resumes-What NOT To Write

Baby Boomer Resumes-What NOT To Write

These are some (so they say) real life examples of what NOT to put on a resume.

– “Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.”

– “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

– “My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.”

– “Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.”

– “Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.”

– “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”

– “I am a rabid typist.”

– “Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.”

– “Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.”

– “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.”

– “References: None, I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”

– “Don’t take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers.”

– “My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”

– “I procrastinate – especially when the task is unpleasant.”

– “I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice-mail.”

– “Qualifications: No education or experience.”

– “Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.”

– Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!”

–Do not tell any one that you were a personal friend of Bernie Madoff.

We hope that you enjoyed “Baby Boomer Resumes-What NOT To Write.” for more Baby Boomer Humor or Baby Boomer Jokes, go to BBAC’s Joke Section.