50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

As Baby Boomers, I am sure that all of you will remember “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover!”

I have included a you tube with Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and drummer Steve Gadd, the lyrics to “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and 50 versions of my own. Feel free to leave some extra ways to leave your lover…or tell us how you did it!

…Baby Boomers here are the lyrics…
“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you’ll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
just listen to me

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

…Baby Boomers, here are my “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover…”

50. Tell him you’re a man, Stan

49. Tell her a BIG lie, Popeye

48. Kick him in the knee, Bryee

47. Tell her you want her slim, Jim

46. Feed her to a lion , Bryon

45. Push her out a tree, Tyree

44. Feed her to a shark, Clark

43. Sell his kidney, Mindee

42. Kick her in the butte’, Brute’

41. Feed her some poison, Royson

40. Date her sister, Mister

39. Chop off his organ, Morgan

38. Throw her down a gorge, George

37. Cut off her feet. Keith

36. Fake your own death, Beth

35 Take out a $2,000,000 life insurance policy, Nancy

34. Spend all of the money, Honey

33. Cut of his dick, Chick

32. Toss him off the 13 story, Laurie

31. Stomp all over her feet, Pete

30. Make him eat bad sushi, Lucy

29. Run him over with a trolley, Molly

28. Get a prenup, Chuck

27. Make her write a will, Bill

26. Chop off his nose, Flo

25. Beat her with a the whip, Chip

24. Crash her computer, Luther

23. Send him an email, Female

22. Give her cement feet, Pete

21. Throw him off a bridge, Midge

20. Trash her bike, Mike

19. Tell her you like boys, Troy

18. Ask out her mom, Tom

17. Slip her a mickey, Dickey

16. Crash her car, Lamar

15. Cut off a limb, Tim

14. Lock him in a cage, Paige

13. Set fire to her hair, Blair

12. Spray her with mace, Chase

11. Cook her in a stew, Lou

10. Drown him off your yacht, Dot

9. Chuck him in the butt with a spear, Dear

8. Tie her up, Chuck

7. Staple her to the bed, Fred

6. Drown her in the lake, Jake

5. Smother her with a pillow, Winslow

4. Give him a jap slap, Pat

3. Apply some hurt, Burt

2. Slap her upside the head, Fred

~and the number one way~

1. Make her re~sing this chorus, Morris

Hope you enjoyed the blast from the past…
~The Baby Boomer Queen~